The Come-back

The past year has not been one of the best. I can't offhand think of any other year to date that has been so hectic, so draining, and so ready to be over.  (As a teacher, my year ends in June.)

Last summer I got busy (doing fun things, actually), and for no good reason, I neglected the blog.  Then the school year hit and I felt myself pulled every which-a-way.  I took on more this year professionally: I took some extra professional development classes, taught a couple new (AP) classes, and set (and mostly met) some lofty goals for my classroom. However, I felt overwhelmed and treading water.  And I continued to neglect the blog.

In November I got sick.  Not the 24-hour-flu kind of sick, but the out-of-work-for-two-months kind of sick.  I got an inner ear infection and it destroyed my right vestibular nerve.  I didn't know what a vestibular nerve was when this happened to me - but apparently its the "command center" that connects the eyes, ears, and brain and manages the body's balance.  After several days of unbelievable nausea, I finally admitted that I probably didn't have the stomach flu and went to the ER, barely able to walk because my body just couldn't function in that way anymore.  Two months of physical therapy later I was able to return to work...but I'm still dealing with some after affects: fatigue and pressure headaches being the most bothersome.  At the end of the day I'm exhausted and if I don't have papers to grade or lessons to plan, I just want to veg. And so I've continued to neglect the blog.

Ian's mom, Barb, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in August, and even after attempts at treatment through radiation and chemotherapy, the tumors continued to grow.  About three weeks ago, she passed away after two months at home on hospice care.

As I said....I'm ready for this year to end.

In this year of being busy, and unwell, and tired...I found that I stopped doing a lot of the things that I used to do that used to make me happy.  I muster all my energy to do things I have to do...and then neglect the things I want to do.  I almost never bake anymore (much to Ian's dismay), and cooking has been relegated to whatever is the minimum needed to healthily feed my family for the week....and these used to be hobbies that I'd relish.  I can't remember the last book I read (fiction or otherwise).  I stopped exercising (and it shows).   I didn't grow my garden from seeds this year, like I had so wanted to.  I rarely have the time to find, prep, and do "art-craft" projects with the girls - something special that we used to enjoy with each other at least a few times a month. And I've continued to neglect the blog - something that I enjoy because I've always liked to write, and because I love to look back and have this record of the things we've done and the life we've lived.

As this year winds down (although I use that phrase a bit liberally because we still have FOUR weeks left of school...can you believe it??!!), however, I'm making my own New Year's resolution to bring back the things that make me happy.  I'm going to find a way to rearrange things and to do the things that are most important - and aren't the things that make you happy really the most important things anyway?

Re-starting the blog is going to be part of that.  I've wanted a re-start for awhile now, but didn't really know how to make the come-back.  After being away for so long - do I need to do a re-cap?  Do I need to go back with updates of all the holidays, and other photo-worthy occasions?  These are the questions, actually that have me hesitant to start again.  So, while I'm sure that would be nice...I just can't.

This is the recap:  The last year has been a rough one, but it hasn't been all bad - there have been lots of smiles and lots of laughter, too. As for the details, I don't have the time or energy to start by going back....so I'm going to just have to start by going forward.